In an attempt to acquire a needed normalcy
in my life-Ten years ago I opened the front door of my business. This was my last
resort before the mayhems of motherhood took over my mind, body and soul. Let’s
not misunderstand; I loved being a mother- but I was not cut out of the stay-at-home-mom
pattern. I need consistent adult interaction and a higher sense of purpose than
changing diapers and wiping gooey green snot off of a toddler’s nose. I continuously
found myself gaining weight, showering less and less, and hadn’t used a comb in
months. The shower- which had become a battle of time- was calling my name. My
beauty tools that had been stowed away in their perfect plastic box needed to
see the bright lights of the bathroom vanity. My make up needed to be worn and my
jewelry was calling my name. The downward
spiral into fromyness was approaching fast and I needed a saving solution
before I turned into an unsociable member of society. Playing with Playschool
toys and wiping spit-up out of my long tangled hair became the dreaded daily ritual
in which I need to change. It was time to plan the great escape- an escape from
the walls of toddlerville into the wonderful world of adult interaction.
The thoughts of disloyalty to my
children filled my mind with guilt as my heart played tug-a-war between
obligations and dreams. As I one side tugged the other side caved. My heart screamed
that I needed to be all that I could be and mediocre motherhood was not the
limits of my successes. I compromised and opened a business in which my
children could be included in my longing for normalcy of the outside world. They would witness the beauty of their mother beyond
the standard stinky sweat pants and I would radiate confidence by finally wearing
my beautiful clothes that had been stored for too long. 
After 10 years of building a
business opposed to Lego’s I have realized we
both won. My children won by experiencing more than the typical Playschool play
set, and I won by sharing my dreams with them. Incorporating the life I chose
with the life I dreamt of; the four of us have blossomed into greater treasures
than I ever imagined we could be. As I look at 10 years worth of sweat, labor
and numerous challenges along the way I am proud- I am proud that I
accomplished my ultimate goal. I am a
mother and a successful business woman.
The picture's are of my Children- AudreyElla, Laish and Cadence
Excellent post. We, us mothers, struggle with the responsibility we have inherited...to have it all and do it all. I think I see the detrimental repercussions of this is my classrooms every day. I hope we will one day figure it out. Great reflection post and most beautiful children. You might be lucky to have them but they are certainly lucky to have you. ~Ms. A.
ReplyDeleteMellie -
ReplyDeleteA mother's guilt is a terrible thing that we put on ourselves, isn't it? You are giving your children wonderful life lessons that can't be taught. The example you are presenting your wonderful blessings are laying a foundation for them that I know they will be grateful for later in life. They are experiencing their mother's strength, drive, perseverance, and determination; all while being loved and taken care of. Kudos to you for all the challenges you have and will continue to overcome in order to successfully see your goals through.
The more of your blogs I read, the bigger fan I become!
Jennifer